Day95

How are you feeling today?

For me, it feels like the last three months consists of tossing traditional and stereotypical understandings of life up in the air and not knowing how they will land when things settle down. Loss has so many faces and I think many of us have experienced loss in at least one form or another this pandemic.

There has been many days that have been frustrating or emotional, some days that feel emotionally numb even. I've had to consider every possibility that may come my way and realise that what is usually unlikely is very possible and vice versa. Everyone knows it's not supposed to be easy but it's hard to know what that means until you hit that point when it's not easy, when you've hit what is possibly that rainy day you were supposed to be prepared  for even though there wasn't a rehearsal.

But if anything, it reminds me of how important it is to be kind to yourself. If today is the day you are not feeling good, if today you are demotivated, if all you want to do is curl up and do nothing, if today you can't help but blame someone or something, if today you want to eat everything in your path or have that glass of wine, if today you don't want to be the you that you usually are, it is O.K. 

Tomorrow could be the day you accept things for what they are and come to terms with your emotions. The day after could be when you realise that it's going to take more than tomorrow for things to heal. No matter how many days you need, everything that goes up must eventually come down and when you are ready, you have everything you need within you to pull yourself through.